Yesterday I watched the final episode of the revamped Battlestar Galactica series. If you haven’t yet seen it then you might want to watch it first before reading on…major spoiler coming!

To briefly sum up the story to those unfamiliar with the series, first there were humans. The humans built robots – Cylons – to handle all the menial tasks in society. They improved the robots until they eventually achieved some sort of artificial intelligence. Eventually the Cylons rebelled against their human masters and thus began a long term war between the two sides. Many years and a few destroyed planets later what’s remaining of the human and Cylon civilisations end up on an Earth-like planet, living together in harmony having learnt of the futility of war. The interesting part comes at the very end of the episode where they’re deciding how to settle on the planet, i.e. how to colonise it. They decide not to build cities since, they argue, it was the technological and economic progress of civilisation that led to all the problems (enemity, war, etc.) they had faced – and cities symbolised such progress. Instead, since their population was small in number (less than 100,000) they decided that everyone would go their separate way, living simple sustainable lives as famers and whatnot. Fast forward 150,000 years and lo and behold the planet is now in the position of early 21st century Earth: cities, robots and everything else.

This got me thinking about why cities, technology, money markets and all the other modern civilisational structures come about. Wherever land can be cultivated and water is aplenty, humans will be able to survive, and thus will populate. Wood can be used as fuel to drive things and ther raw materials such as metal can be used to make things. As society becomes more specialised, people begin to trade with each other. As ships get built and ports are opened, people trade across international borders. As trade increases in a given area more people move into the area to take advantage of the opportunities and the wealth being generated increases. Hamlets become villages become towns become cities. And of course, there are wars going on too. Eventually the increased specialisation leads to the use of a medium of exchange that makes it easy to value goods and services using a commonly agreed denominator – money. You create and deliver wealth to society through goods and services, for which you recieve money which you then exchange for other goods and services. Discovery, invention and innovation lead to new technologies which in turn lead to new ways of living.

Forgive me for missing out other major factors in the development of our civilisation. Whichever way I look at it it seems inevitable that we would have cities, vehicles, different political structures, etc. As far as we are aware this is the first time us humans have reached such a level of economic and technological sophistication. Given that the majority of humans are acting in their own self-interest (heck, capitalism is based on this idea) could the world really have turned out any different to how it is now? Sure, every result can probably be traced back to a few past individual decisions which had an onwards “ripple effect” on future decisions and outcomes, and flipping those key decisions would change the outcome. But assuming that there is no external entity (such as a God) directing our individual or collective actions, each human being will always choose what they consider to be the best option in any given situation. Even when they knowingly choose the “wrong” option, at a deeper level something makes it the right option. Thus, given that everyone is always taking the best decision they can in any given moment the only other factor affecting choices is the variation in human personality and character. Assuming the difference in personality from one human to the next has been randomly spread over the millennia it is difficult to see how our actions could have resulted in a different sort of civilisation, given everything else (natural environment, naturally occurring events) since the birth of our existence. If we assume the opposite – i.e. there is an external entity such as God directing our individual and/or collective actions – then we must assume that this external entity has our best interests at heart otherwise we’re doomed no matter what! So this entity must be instrumental with the current state of our civilisation, which again means that things couldn’t have turned out any differently.

So where am I going with all this? Our civilisation is going through certain pains – climate change, dwindling natural resources, failed political states to name just a few. And lets not forget all the other pains we’ve gone through in the past such as the slave trade. I think these are all part of the evolution of any civilisation. Every civilisation ends up going through these painful periods of learning and adjustment in order to reach a higher level of understanding and a more peaceful, harmonious existence. Perhaps every civilisation reaches a point where it is able to develop machines powered by naturally occurring resources (coal and oil in our case), eventually resulting in massive economic growth and lifestyle development. And thus perhaps this eventually this leads to an undesirable impact on the natural environment at which point society starts looking for ways to live more sustainably, as we are currently doing.

If an alien from outer space that had seen many other civilisations came to check out Earth, what would they conclude? that we are advancing as a civilisation or going backwards? that we are at a crucial turning point where we either sink or swim? Although our civilisation is still heading in the right direction, we can’t assume that things will automatically work out. We still need to take the decisions required to “evolve” us to the next level of existence. Looking at our civilisation today, freedom of press and information is increasingly becoming a globally implemented idea. Electronic communication and especially the internet have enabled fast and efficient flow of information across the globe. These factors alone have enabled people to become more educated about the world in which they live, which in turn has increased our awareness of the need to act. Given all this information we’ve now gleaned one could argue that we will make the best choices.

But even so we don’t know how our civilisation will change. It might be that we leave it too late to fix some issues and end up suffering the consequences. It might be that our population numbers are reduced due to one or more catastrophes, after which we then evolve to the next level having learnt some harsh lessons. Perhaps evolving to the next level involves starting from scratch with the way we think about the world, the way we live in it, the way we relate to each other, who knows. What about us becoming extinct? Scary thought, though it doesn’t feel likely to me.

I believe our civilisation is on as a right a track as it could be. There must have been times in the past when people felt that things were unravelling and that humanity was doomed. And there are people like that today. In fact there are probably always going to be people like that. Are we doomed? I doubt it. It’s too early to tell anyway. All this has happened before and will happen again – atleast we can take heart in that.

Your happiness is your responsibility. Nobody else’s but yours. You may think that if you work hard enough and diligently enough then everything else ought to just fall in place, as if in recognition of your efforts. For instance, if your goal is to start a successful business, maybe you believe in some external force – God/nature/people/probability/something else – that will do the remaining 20% of the effort once you’ve put in the initial 80% of the effort required to achieve your goal. “Do your best and hope for some luck” sums up this approach. Even if this is how you see things, there are times in life when you find yourself not “receiving” that remaining 20% even after you’ve done the initial 80%. This is because in reality there is no remaining 20% that is waiting to be given to you on a plate as a reward. If you want something to happen for sure then you have to make it happen, 100%.

You might disagree with that last statement. You might say “well, there was this one time when events just seemed to spontaneously occur in harmony, without me understanding how or why”. True, I’m sure many people (myself included) have had such moments. But does this mean that if things don’t work out the way you want then you can simply absolve yourself of any responsibility by blaming the turn of events? no. If you believe in the Law of Attraction then you will likely see yourself as responsible for the turn of events – both when they work in your favour and when they don’t, since you believe you alone are responsible for attracting those events into your life. This sense of responsibility would appear to be in line with what we are talking about here, but not quite. I am arguing that regardless of how or why events occur to you, you should not expect them to be in your favour. If co-incidences happen for you at the right time in the right place (i.e. synchronicity) then treat that them as bonuses, beyond what you were expecting. If you’re always prepared to do the 100% needed to achieve your objectives and not expecting “life” to take care of things for you then you will always win. When events turn in your favour you will go along with the flow and let things happen. When they don’t you will keep working at making things happen.

Not taking full responsibility for your success and failures is the easy way out. It’s easy to blame somebody or something else when things don’t work out the way you want. Initially, the idea that you alone are responsible for your happiness may seem daunting since there are no longer any excuses you can use. But on the flipside it is also extremely empowering because it also means that you have full control over how things turn out eventually. The fact that you don’t have control over all the events doesn’t matter so much since you are always in control of the next step to take. Taking 100% responsibility for your life requires the courage to act in spite of your fear and the determination to see yourself through all the obstacles. This is the hard bit. But over time this will get easier as you grow into doing it more and more.

The wider world

And what about your reponsibility in the wider world? In today’s connected and integrated world, it is difficult to survive without the support of a community. Take a local town, for instance. Business provides employment and income for people, as well as the money for public services, essential for supporting the less well-off members of society. You and everyone else need the opportunity to educate themselves and seek a better life through contribution to society rather than turning to a life of crime. Good schools and colleges ensure that you are employable and can compete for jobs in an ever-global marketplace. A strong law enforcement and justice system ensures that you won’t need to take matters into your own hands. A good local government will ensure that your views are heard and that public resources get allocated to different projects fairly and efficiently. A good rubbish collection scheme means you don’t have waste piling up on the streets.

All the different aspects of your community allow you to make a great life for yourself. The neglect of any aspect will eventually degrade the quality of life (even if in a small way) for everyone in the community. It is only through the collective action of every individual in a community that the community itself will thrive. This requires each individual within the community to be feel partly responsible for the well-being of the community. Thus you have partial responsibility for your community’s happiness. And the happier your community is, the happier you will be.

When talking about communities, we could be talking about your immediate and extended family, your village, town, city, country, continent or even the entire globe and beyond. In today’s world there are a number of issues which require our collective efforts to solve – climate change, geo-politicial conflicts, scarce resource allocation (e.g. water), dwindling oil reserves, etc. We can’t expect a small group of dedicated people to solve all of these issues for everyone. This is no different to closing our eyes to the issues and living our lives hoping that everything will just magically work out as want. Just as you are 100% responsible for your own life, we are 100% responsible for our collective existence on this planet, and thus our civilisation’s future. If there’s anything we know for sure it is that there is no silver bullet that will fix everything without us having to change the way we live. The solution to any particular problem differs depending on social demographics, world location and other factors. Many solutions (e.g. recycling) will require each of us to pitch in with our our own individual contributions. Indeed, for the global problems we face we may not have any other choice. Having to take partial responsibility for the world at large seems daunting. I mean, how much difference could an individual such as yourself possibly make on the world stage? And therein lies the opportunity. The opportunity to give it a go and see how much difference you can make. If you have the courage and the determination to go the 100% needed then your efforts will not be wasted. And what if you fail? it is better to have tried and failed than not tried. At the very least you will inspire other people to join you for the ride. And you will learn a lot, which is always a good thing.

So do your best, welcome luck, and keep doing your best. You are responsible. I am responsible. We are all responsible.

Last Sunday, a group of friends and myself conducted a little experiment. We went to Ealing Road, Wembley, made garam garam masala chai (tea) and served it for free to local bystanders and shoppers wondering around. Why? simply to give out of the spirit of love and giving.

Late last year the same group of friends and myself went on a 1 week trip to Gujarat, India called “Learning Journey” to learn about various social development projects that were taking place there. We visited many places and listened to many inspiring people, all the while reflecting on what we had see, what we had learnt and how we felt our own perspectives on life were changing. One of the most interesting projects we experienced was Seva Café. A completely volunteer-run restaurant based in the heart of Ahmedabad (the capital of Gujarat), it serves up an every-changing menu of simple dishes and most importantly, doesn’t charge its customers! Instead you can only pay whatever you feel like paying, even if that means choosing to pay nothing. The people working there do so out of the joy of what they’re doing and the joy of giving something made with love. When you pay for your meal you are actually “paying it forward”, in effect paying towards to the next person’s meal. You the guest are also giving out of love. It’s an experiment in giving.

One of the other cool things about Seva Café is that anybody can volunteer to help out, whether that means cooking, washing dishes, serving customers, or even just decorating the place. And a few us (myself included) opted to do this on our last night in Ahmedabad. It was an amazing experience. Serving people; knowing that you are doing it for free without expecting reward; and knowing that everybody else working with you is there for the same reason and therefore feeling close to them. These things really made it a special experience. Even the guys who didn’t help out could feel the energy.

On coming back to Blighty we decided that we wanted to replicate what we had done over there in some way. Preferrably something simpler than a full-blown restaurant but still as effective. After some discussion we settled on the idea of serving chai to members of the public, and at the same time engaging people in conversation about what we were doing.

And so it was that last Sunday we all arrived at Sakonis restaurant in Wembley (they very kindly let us use their kitchen) and started preparing chai. After cooking for about an hour we were ready to start serving. After that we started pouring the chai into small plastic cups, each with a lovely sticker on the side which read “Made with love, Served with love, Pay it forward!”.

The interesting part was serving the chai. Most of the time when we approached people we got rejected. Some people wouldn’t even acknowledge our presence our make eye contact. Others would decline our offer with a look of suspicion on their face. A lot of people thought we were promoting a brand of chai masala and we had to keep stressing “not a sample, not a promotion”! I think a lot of people found it hard to believe that here we were giving out free chai for no reason other than to give. A lot of people were cynical.

Slowly, for every 7 or 8 rejections we got 1 success, and as time went by the cups started going quicker, and we found ourselves running out of chai. Once we explained what we were doing to people they really warmed to the idea. Some folks wanted to know why we were doing it, which gave us the opportunity to talk to them about our trip to India and what we had experienced. We also put the chai onto trays and went into shops, feeling a little afraid that we’d get kicked out and then feeling surprised afterwards when we didn’t. In fact I can’t remember a single person being annoyed at us even if they weren’t interested in drinking the chai. A lovely couple who were inspired by our idea bought us some sweets to give out along with the chai. And an old lady who stopped by loved what we were doing and invited us all round to her house for…chai

I think we gave away atleast 150 cups of chai before we decided to call it a day. Initially I was apprehensive as to whether the chai would be good; whether people would want to engage in conversation with us; or whether the weather would be good! In the end I think we all felt happy with how the day had unfolded. We spoke to so many people we wouldn’t otherwise have spoken to. It felt good to push past the initial rejections and persist with our offering and it felt good to recieve so many ‘thankyou’s and other nice comments from people. A big thankyou to all our friends who turned up and drank the chai and gave us a hand with serving. Thanks to you guys we always had a congregation of people around our table, which I’m certain encouraged other people to come forward and try out the goods.

Would we do this again? Definitely!

Ahimsa – according to Wikipedia – is “a rule of conduct that bars the killing or injuring of living beings”. If you are to practise Ahimsa (often also expressed as non-violence) then you must refrain from injuring another being even if that being is injuring you. Gandhi certainly preached this. And so did Jesus – “If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also”.

When I am speaking to Hindus who have read into the depths of their religion, particularly the Bhagavad Gita and the works of Swami Vivekananda, I am intrigued when they mention their practice of Ahimsa. The reason being that when I was in my teens I was reading the same material and often struggled with this concept of non-violence. People often hold up Gandhi as the prime example of non-violent struggle achieving overwhelming success in spite of all the odds. Yet, when I thought about the times I had been bullied at school or the times when I had been threatened to a fight by somebody else I couldn’t imagine how choosing not to fight back would be the best option. And you can scale this up to the level of countries. If country A invades country B then should country B fight back or not? If they fight back then there is some chance that they will be able to repel A. If they don’t then they give up their freedom of choice (and freedom in general) to A. B would then be at A’s mercy. Not resisting A’s invasion does not guarantee that A will treat the citizens of B fairly afterwards. For instance, when the British Empire took over rule of India all the native inhabitants of India automatically became second-class citizens in their own country. No matter what benefits were gained by India whilst under British rule (e.g. the English language) you couldn’t escape the fact that ultimately say in how the country was run lay with the British Raj.

Would it have been better for Indians to have engaged in an armed struggle with the British from the very beginning? Did they even realise that their country was being “invaded/conquered”? Did they have the means to fight back even if they had wanted to? India has a history of being invaded by foreign powers, especially the Mughal emperors. Over time the invading force’s cultures and customs would get assimilated into Indian culture. This is one reason India has such a beautiful variety of cultures within it today. So you might argue that the principle of non-violence or non-opposition towards the invading force has in the long run greatly benefited India.

But even by taking this viewpoint I couldn’t see how being non-violent in my own life would be better than responding to force with force of my own. I grew up on a steady diet of Chinese kungfu flicks and I’d always daydream of being one those “kungfu masters” I saw, peaceful within myself yet able to completely kick ass when the need arose. At one point I remember reading a quote, I think by Bruce lee, which went something like: “A good offense is the best defense”. In other words, if someone comes to attack you then attack them back better. That will make them think twice before coming again. I think it’s wrong to take the path of an aggressor, but I think it’s necessary to have the capability to defend yourself just in case a foreign aggressor comes to attack you. And by this principle, if you’re a country and you’re going to have weapons then why not make sure you have the best ones? Why not make sure you have the best trained army?

Yesterday, I was sat with a friend who is on the committee of the Hindu society at his university. He was narrating a recent incident to another friend of his over the phone. The Hindu society had booked one of the college rooms for a meeting. Just as they were about to begin another religious society came in and demanded the use of the room for one of their spiritual practices. The Hindu society crew were outnumbered 400 to 6! He said said that the other group seemed aggressive and thus, in the spirit of Ahimsa the Hindu society crew decided to give up the room to other group, even though Hindu society had paid for that room. At the time I felt that his crew had made the right choice but afterwards I started having second thoughts.

I asked myself, since Gandhi was somebody who practised Ahimsa effectively what would he have done in that situation? What Gandhi brought to the Indian independence struggle was mass civil disobedience and non-cooperation with the British rulers. He didn’t just walk away and give them what they wanted. He stayed put and decided to make life difficult for them in a non-violent way, e.g. by encouraging everyone to boycoot British-made goods and to resign from government offices run by the British. Straight away the thought came to me that given the situation outlined above, he would probably have stood his ground, albeit non-violently. He would have kept himself in the middle of the room, forcing them to physically remove him if they wanted him out. Even then he would probably try his hardest to stay put without ever harming any of them. But this requires real courage, almost to the point of being fearless (since there’s a chance he’ll suffer physical pain). I think this is what true Ahimsa requires.

Ahimsa is a willingness to not do harm to others. It does not mean that you must put aside your own wishes in favour of what others wish. You must be true to yourself and express yourself assertively. The willingness to not do harm to others is, in a way, an expression of love. Non-violently standing your ground even in with the threat of violence towards you shows courage and determination. Of course, had I been in my friend’s place at that time would I have had the courage to stand my place? honestly, I would probably have gone along with what my friend did. On one hand I would want to fight back but on the other hand being so hugely outnumbered would make me fearful.

Combining this insight with my previously held beliefs about the need to fight back, I think that achieving a result non-violently is the most courageous outcome and therefore the outcome most aligned with love and unity. I still believe that a good defense is essential; if things take a turn to violence then you should know that you have the capability to respond with force if need be. But perhaps you can also phsyically defend yourself in a non-violent manner – Aikido anyone?

The first one is from a movie called Facing The Giants, about an underdog football team coach who learns to overcome his and his team’s difficulties through faith. Although it is a “Christian values” movie this particular clip contains wisdom for anyone of any faith or non-faith:

In this clip we see coach Taylor push Brock beyond his self-imposed mental and physical limits. Brock doesn’t think his team can win the big match on Friday night, and he also doesn’t think he can death crawl beyond the 50 yard mark. By blindfolding him the coach is making sure that Brock can’t see how far away his goal is. This way he won’t worry about not being able to crawl that far and won’t give up prematurely when he thinks he’s done enough. This is also why coach never tells him how far he as left to go. All Brock can do is focus on the immediate goal of taking the next step. Once Brock gets going coach never stops giving him words of encouragement, never stops urging him to push on through his pain. He won’t let Brock give up until his body can go no more. Coach does *his* very best to never let a negative thought enter Brock’s mind.

He wants Brock to realise that only when he gives his very best will he find out that he’s truly capable of. By giving his very best Brock will achieve his goals, improve himself beyond his current best and grow as a player and an individual. An anology to this is working out at a gym. If you goto the gym and spend your time lifting weights you can easily manage then you’re not going to see much improvement, if any. If you try to lift a heavy weight but then give up as soon as the going gets tough then you’re still not going to see improvement. The only way to improve is to give it your very best, to try doing one or more sets with weights just beyond your capability. Of course, you wouldn’t want to try lifting something so totally beyond your capacity that you would end up seriously injuring yourself. Instead you want to push yourself just beyond your current level; move forward one small step at a time, just like Brock did.

In summation, commit to excellence in everything that you be and do. Set clear goals and instead of being daunted by how big they are just tackle them one small step at a time. Trust that if you keep giving it your very best you will get there.

The second clip is from the latest Rocky movie. In this clip Rocky is teaching his son an important lesson in life:

Rocky’s son (Peter Patrelli) is struggling in his job, and perhaps his life too. He feels that until he has made his mark on the world he is always going to be living in his Dad’s shadow. In effect he is refusing to accept his responsibility for his life. And deep down he knows this, though he is not willing to admit it to himself and is instead openly blaming his Dad for his problems. Rocky understands what is going on in his son’s mind and decides to tackle the issue head on, as a true warrior does.

The lesson is very simple. On the path to achieving something there are often going to be setbacks. But these are just there to test you; to test how much you want to achieve your goal. Instead of complaining about them, accept them, learn from them and keep moving forward. If you haven’t yet achieved your goal then it’s not because somebody else has stopped you from achieving it, but rather because you haven’t yet figured out how to achieve it. And the only way you’re going to figure out how to achieve it is by “taking the hits” and moving forward. If what you’re trying right now isn’t working then try something else. But don’t give up hope because you haven’t reach your goal in the time you thought it would take you.

Your mind lead you not astray,
Heart burning with desire,
True love is no fire,
This oneness I cannot escape.

–

thanks to Alyssia Nair for input.